


The Best

by AleishaDreams



Series: The Color in my World [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Color!Soulmates, Colors trope, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Soulmates, color me in love, romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:07:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5977909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AleishaDreams/pseuds/AleishaDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His mother always talked about how great colors are. How light and bright the world is once colors are gifted to you for the first time. It’s exciting, it’s breathtaking, it’s electrifying, it’s all of that and even more. It’s something that simple words can’t describe because there simply aren’t enough words to do it, and even if you find the words, they don’t feel like they do justice to what you feel inside your dancing heart.</p><p>Needless to say, Rin Matsuoka is dying to see these colors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best

**Author's Note:**

> SouRin prequel to Color Me in Love. This is a resume of Sousuke and Rin's first year together as a couple.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Unbeta'd.

His mother always talked about how great colors are. How light and bright the world is once colors are gifted to you for the first time. It’s exciting, it’s breathtaking, it’s electrifying, it’s all of that and even more. It’s something that simple words can’t describe because there simply aren’t enough words to do it, and even if you find the words, they don’t feel like they do justice to what you feel inside your dancing heart.

Needless to say, Rin Matsuoka is dying to see these colors.

The idea of someone out there that was born just for him makes him smile every day, even in the gloomiest day of them all. It’s always an incentive to push harder, to work harder, to try everything in his hands to be a better person for the moment his true, destined lover comes, so they can complete each other like they are meant to be.

It’s romantic, to say the least, and Rin has always been a romanticist.

“My mom says my hair is red,” Rin comments to his best friend, Makoto Tachibana, as they sit on Rin’s backyard porch drinking juice. “I wonder if my destined one will like it.”

“I’m sure they’ll like your hair, Rin,” Makoto assures before sipping juice from his straw.

They are merely eight years old, but these thoughts often run through his young mind and he always feel eager to share them with Makoto, whom he knows won’t ever judge him and his deep interest on destined people and true love.

“And even if they don’t like the color,” Makoto continues, “I’m sure they’ll like you for who you are, Rin.”

Makoto smiles when he says his compliment and Rin can’t help it when he also smiles at his friend, but bumps his shoulder with his own for good measure. His best friend is blind, therefore things such as physical appearances mean nothing to him; for Makoto what matters is the heart of the people, and Rin is proud to know that Makoto thinks he is a good guy.

“Hey, after this we should go swimming,” Rin suggests, with an excited smile adorning his lips.

His friend’s smile weakens a little just like Rin had expected. “You know I can’t swim, Rin.”

“Nonsense! We will figure out a way! C’mon!”

Rin sips up the rest of his juice quickly, and prompts Makoto to do the same.

There’s no time to lose, Rin thinks, because everyday is a new opportunity to shine.

 

 

 

Australia had been great. He learnt a lot, met a lot of people, and of course he swam a lot.

Each day in Australia felt like a step closer to his ultimate goal; that is becoming a professional swimmer and win **all** the gold medals. Still, a lonely feeling crept everyday inside his heart, sullying the walls with black doubts and regrets, mainly when he first discovered that he, in fact, isn’t the fastest guy out there, that there are tens, hundreds, thousands, probably millions of people way faster than him.

It was a hard adventure, mainly because he was all by himself in a foreign country where he didn’t even speak the language, but most of all he felt lonely and isolated because he was alone, with his friends far away, a wide ocean separating them, and in those days it wasn’t as easy to connect with people overseas like today. Which caused Rin to fall in depression, stopping sending letters to Makoto – that his mother did the favor of reading for him – because he couldn’t deal with the shame of facing a wall that didn’t permit him progress in his goals. He was supposed to be the brave friend, the one who always pushed his friends towards their goals, but now all he felt was desolation and impotence to the point of stopping swimming altogether.

It was a miracle by itself that Makoto wanted to talk to him when Rin came back to Japan for high school. Gou contacted Makoto to tell him Rin was back, and that Rin needed him. Makoto didn’t hesitate to call Rin and try to get close to him again, even when Rin – ashamed and hurt – tried to send him away, but the brunette was diligent in his decision of helping his friend and, with time and patience, Rin was able to come to terms with the fact that people being better than him didn’t mean he is a failure, it only meant he must try harder to be the best.

Rin admits most of it was his fault because his pride and dreams were too big and too misguided. It’s thanks to both Makoto and Gou that he decided to try the swimming club at Samezuka high school, and he was honestly surprised when the captain Mikoshiba passed the baton to him, giving him the title of captain of the swimming team.

But now that he is entering a new year of high school, the third and final, he is set on working hard to guide his new team and make it the best he can. He is excited, to say the least, to start this new year with a whole new look in life after the past dark years he passed in Australia away from his friends. He is so hopeful and excited that he is diligent to return to Australia once he finishes high school.

“Students,” the teacher says as he enters the classroom. Said students start to sit down when they see the professor, Rin included sitting on his seat next to the window. “We have a new classmate, please enter, Yamazaki-kun.”

When the professor says that, a man enters through the door. He is tall with a broody face, his eyebrows arching in that derogatory way that simply shouts “I’m so bored right now I may fall asleep at any second”, he has dark hair although is impossible for Rin what color it is.

“His name is Yamazaki Sousuke,” the teacher explains as he writes down the name on the blackboard, “Please receive him well.”

The rest of the class give a non-committal “welcome” to greet to the new student, except for Rin that – for some unknown reason – can’t stop looking at the man in front of him, much less when Yamazaki finally looks his way.

It feels as if a light exploded inside his head and chest, illuminating everything at sight with a bright beam. It’s so strong Rin has trouble to keep his eyes open as the world around him starts to distort and change, with the color raining and bathing everything it touches. His breath stops for a moment when realization finally hits his mind, and his body reacts on its own when he suddenly stands up, making his chair fall to the floor and attracting everyone’s attention, including the teacher who turns around to see him.

“It’s something wrong, Matsuo—“ he starts to ask but stop when he sees that Yamazaki is in the same state as his other student. “Yamazaki-kun?”

Yamazaki is straight up staring at Rin, his lips are parted and his eyebrows are frowned, but his eyes are wide in surprise.

The teacher stares at them for a moment, to later groan and scratch his eyes with a hand.

“Oh, dear,” he murmurs, tired.

Class continues but it can’t be said that “as normal”. Rin is way too distracted to pay attention to class, and he can tell Yamazaki is having the same trouble. The only free seat was at the other side of the classroom, and Yamazaki isn’t even trying to pretend he is paying attention, because his eyes always look back at Rin’s. At first the professor makes the effort to reprimand both Rin and Yamazaki for being distracted, but ultimately decides to stop when seeing is a lost cause. Not to mention that the rest of the class is curious about the whole deal.

The average age of meeting your true, destined lover is around 20 or 30 years old, so Rin having found his destined lover this young is a weird phenomenon by itself, therefore the class is evidently curious, mainly if it happens in front of so many people and so young. The entire classroom feels on edge, but no one is having it worse than Rin.

His leg can’t stop nervously moving, he can’t stop biting his lips, and his eyes travel every five seconds to the man at the other side of the room.

It’s finally happening. Rin finally found his true, destined love. After all these years of hard work, it finally happened. He will finally have the perfect life he always imagined since little and it all begins today. He can barely contain his excitement, and he gets happy whenever he looks at Yamazaki and catches the man already seeing him, looking all but calm for classes to finish.

The recess ring bell finally sounds, and with it Rin’s heart starts to scream and hit his chest with tremendous power, hurting him but in a special kind of way that Rin absolutely adores because this, this right here, is true love that he is feeling.

To his surprise, no one in the classroom moves except for the professor who bids his farewells and exits. What are they waiting for? They all should go away so he can be alone with Yamazaki and talk and all that shit. Don’t they realize they are interfering with true love? What’s worse is that even Yamazaki doesn’t move, staying still as a statue in a graveyard. What the fuck is wrong with him?

Makoto has always tell him that he should be more patient, take things easy and “let it flow”, but in Rin’s humble opinion, some things must be taken care of quickly and without any doubt. That’s why Rin decides to stand up, walk directly to Yamazaki – all under his classmates’ attentive eyes – and stands before Yamazaki, staring straight to his eyes that Rin is already dying to know what their color is called. Yamazaki’s eyes are deep, and they feel like they are looking to your soul, and there’s something beyond them that Rin will gladly discover what it is.

“Let’s go,” Rin says, smiling a cocky grin that Yamazaki returns with one of his own.

Yamazaki stands up, and Rin has to grab himself to not back up when he realizes the man is taller, and broader, than him.

“Show the way,” Yamazaki says.

Fuck, his voice is perfect.

Soon they are behind a building, alone and being covered by shadow, and suddenly Rin realizes he doesn’t know what the fuck to do now. But he won’t back out, not now that his destined person is right before him and looking at him with those gorgeous eyes – what damn color are they?

“I’m Rin Matsuoka,” he starts, proud of himself when his voice doesn’t crack.

“Sousuke Yamazaki, tho you already knew that,” Yamazaki shrugs.

“Call me Rin.”

Yamazaki looks a little surprised at his order, but doesn’t say anything, instead he smiles softly. “Alright, Rin.”

Rin actually shudders on his place as soon as his name leaves Yamazaki’s lips. It’s as if his parents, without knowing, had chosen the perfect name for Yamazaki’s voice to say; at this point, Rin doesn’t think that would be too far-fetched.

“You can call me Sousuke,” Yamazaki says, and Rin notices how the man’s fingers twitch a little.

He licks his lips, and it’s impossible to not notice Sousuke’s eyes traveling down to them for a second, before opening his mouth to say, “Sousuke.”

It may be Rin’s imagination, but he swears Sousuke stops breathing.

“Rin.” The called man shudders again. “Can I ki—“

Life isn’t for the slow people. Life is about taking risks, and taking control of yourself and everything you can. Life is for the people who are willing to take the next step.

Rin is one of those types of people.

The next second Rin is already over Sousuke, linking their lips and circling his arms around Sousuke’s neck. In that same second, Sousuke’s arms go around his middle to pull him even closer to his body.

He may need to go to the hospital after this, because Rin can no longer hear anything else than his beating heart against his ears, and he can no longer smell anything else than Sousuke’s scent surrounding him. All of his senses are exploding in happiness, ecstatic and electricity, firing up his skin with a burning feeling that he is quickly learning to get addicted to.

True, destined love is amazing.

 

 

 

Perhaps Rin was born with destiny’s blessings, because he refuses to believe it’s a mere coincidence that he and Sousuke end up living in the same room. Whatever deity decided to grace Rin with such luck, the redhead is eternally grateful. Like this, he can spend most of his time with this man of gentle eyes and cocky smiles, getting to know each other to the most profound depths of their relationship – and, of course, kissing.

“Have you decided what club are you entering?” Rin asks his now boyfriend, sitting on the bottom bunk that he fairly won over a jan-ken-pon game.

Sousuke is organizing his desk, his back facing Rin. He doesn’t answer for a moment, but Rin patiently waits. “When I was in Tokyo I was in the swimming club, but—“

“Really?!” Rin exclaims, excited. “I’m in the swimming club! In fact, I’m the mighty captain.”

Rin bloats his chest in pride, smiling.

It’s amazing how life and destiny works. It’s amazing how Rin, whose dream is to become an Olympic swimmer, ends up with a swimmer himself as his true, destined lover. If that isn’t destiny, then Rin doesn’t know what it is.

“Today we rest,” Rin continues speaking, “But tomorrow practice starts after class! I’m dying to show you the pool. It’s incredible, it has all the necessary things for swimming.”

His new lover doesn’t say anything at first, until he turns around with a smile and soft eyes.

“Sure, Rin.”

 

 

 

Iwatobi always holds a special place inside of Rin’s heart. This is where his grandma used to live before she passed away, this is where his father passed away in that boat, this is where he met his best friend Makoto, and this is where he lived so many years in happiness. It’s always a pleasure to travel back to this small city full of childish memories.

“It’s amazing, Makoto!” Rin says after swallowing his bite of watermelon, “Finding your true, destined lover, it feels amazing.”

They are sitting at Rin’s house backyard porch, eating watermelon that his mother kindly cut for them. Makoto is silent, smiling as he listen Rin talk about his exciting news.

“For a moment I thought I was gonna die or something? Like, I actually stopped breathing for a second back there when we saw each other! His face was really funny because he looked like a fish out of water, ha!”

Makoto hums, amused.

“And when we kissed it was, like, some kind of magical shit? It makes me want to be with him all the time and kiss that asshole mouth of his. It’s incredible. And guess what? He swims too!”

Rin bites his piece of watermelon, feeling thirsty out of nowhere. Makoto takes this opportunity to speak.

“He sounds like the perfect match for you, Rin.”

“He is! He swims the butterfly stroke. He now belongs to the swimming club and he is pretty good! I’m actually thinking of putting him in the relay when the Nationals come in summer.”

Makoto laughs before responding, “You sure have planned it all, huh?”

“Anyway, I’m still lacking another two guys for the relay even if Sousuke accepts. But enough of that, did I tell you about Sousuke’s eyes?”

“About a hundred times only, Rin.”

“Shut up. I investigated what color they are. It’s called ‘teal’, and it’s the best color there is.” Rin feels his face flush at his confession, stuttering a little, “Don’t tell him that or I’ll kill you.”

Makoto laughs.

“By the way,” Rin continues, “Colors are amazing! Now I understand why the whole world makes such a deal about it! It was a little overwhelming at first but now I don’t know how I survived without seeing colors all my life until now! The blues, the greens, the reds! My hair is red, by the way, and Sousuke loves it! I know it because he doesn’t stop touching it all the fucking time. His hair is black and—“

He suddenly falls silent when an invasive thought breaks through his mind like a hot dagger. He almost chokes with his piece of watermelon but he is able to swallow it down.

What an asshole he is.

Rin looks at Makoto, who is still smiling without knowing that his friend almost died right next to him, but when Rin doesn’t speak up, Makoto frowns.

“Rin?” He asks.

Shit. What an asshole he is. What a fucking and insensitive asshole he is.

Makoto is blind, meaning that it’s impossible for him to find his true, destined lover, much less see colors, and here is Rin talking about love and colors and shit. No wonder Makoto has been silent most of the time. He feels horrible and about to cry, feeling regret and shame darkening inside of him.

“M—Makoto, sorry! I’m sorry, I was being such an asshole, an insensitive ass—“

His lips close when he feels a warm hand gently holding his wrist. It’s Makoto’s. Rin stares at it speechless.

“It’s alright, Rin,” Makoto says with a soft voice, “You’re so happy and excited! I’m so happy for you.”

Rin bites his lips. He feels like crying again, but this time is for very different reason.

Makoto is amazing. Makoto is a very reliable man, always so gentle, comprehensible and understanding. He never judged Rin for being a crier, nor did he ever bully him about his girly name beyond that of a friendly teasing, and he is patient with Rin’s explosive and imprudent nature. When they were children, a lot of people thought it was odd for them to be close friends because Rin has always been an active person, while Makoto is way calmer about things. Nonetheless, their friendship is precisely based on these differences and that’s why it works so well for them.

“Tell me more about Sousuke, Rin. He sounds so amazing, so I’m surprised you are here with me.”

Makoto opens his eyes as he questions Rin, smiling.

Green. Makoto’s eyes are green. Rin can’t identify what specific green is, but it doesn’t matter because it’s a green full of life that he didn’t notice before when all he saw was grey, however now that he is able to see the complete rainbow the world is he can appreciate how alive Makoto is.

“That jerk of Sousuke said he had some things to do, alone,” Rin leaves the green part of the watermelon on the plate with the rest of the pieces. “It’s ok, I guess. I mean, I understand he needs space. I guess.”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

Rin groans. “Alright, I admit I would like to spend all day with him, mainly right now that we found each other. It feels itchy as fuck if we aren’t together.”

“That’s supposed to be normal, isn’t it? Feeling weird when you’re separated from your destined one.”

“That’s what the books say, at least.” Rin shrugs.

His mind travels back to that morning.

Today is Sunday, so they are free of club activities, that’s why he and Sousuke were able to stay in bed for a little longer. Lately Rin has convinced Sousuke to sleep together on the same bunk – Rin’s – saying something along the lines of taking the best of the situation of sharing a room. It’s pleasant to wake up in Sousuke’s arms, smelling him and feeling his warmth, not to forget his relaxed face when he is sleeping.

He remembers kissing Sousuke awake, ignoring the morning breath because that isn’t romantic. His boyfriend’s eyes slowly opened at the kiss, and they brightened up immediately as soon as they centered on Rin’s. Sousuke smiled, and Rin smiled back.

Rin is truly lucky.

Kissing one last time, Rin suggested to simply spend the rest of the day on bed doing nothing. Sousuke laughed a little saying that, although he would love to do so, he had to do some stuff alone at the city. Rin insisted on accompanying him, and Sousuke refused entirely. Not wanting to start a fight so early in the morning, Rin backed out after that.

Finding himself alone in their bedroom, Rin decided to go visit Makoto at Iwatobi and that’s how he is here right now.

“We should learn to be apart, anyway, because of Australia and shit,” Rin says, not sure if he is trying to convince himself of Makoto about it. His friend hums in agreement.

“I’m sure you both will be alright,” Makoto begins, “You surely feel like this because it’s been just a few days since you found each other. Or that’s what I think.”

“You must be right.”

 

 

 

Rin doesn’t have any experience on this, so he faintly guesses this is the reason his body feels like burning up and his lungs are about to collapse at any second now. He guesses his lack of experience is why his hands are shaking and he can’t control his voice from getting outside of his lips without asking for permission to do so.

But, perhaps, the real reason of all of this is that he loves Sousuke so much.

The room is too hot for him, suffocating him as if air stopped existing altogether, and yet he doesn’t want this smothering warmth to ever end if that means Sousuke won’t stop touching him.

“Rin…”

His name is called through a husky whisper against his ear. It isn’t fair how something as simple as his name can turn Rin into this mess. Although, he guesses once again, Sousuke’s hands traveling on his body has something to do with it.

They are on Sousuke’s bunk at the top, their clothes scattered over the bed and forgotten long ago, and their bodies aflame with desire for each other. Rin is seated over Sousuke’s lap, grinding their lower parts together while his lover’s big hands are gripping his butt to control the rhythm. He is sure he won’t be able to swim for a while thanks to the deep kisses Sousuke gave to his skin, marking him with red spots.

Rin guesses he should have seen this coming sooner or later, with that of them sleeping together, but he is honestly surprised they took their sweet time to reach this point, taking into consideration they indeed share a bedroom. It’s been half a year since they got together and it’s just now that this spark ignited. He doesn’t know what set the fire on, nor does he care, all he cares is to make Sousuke feel good.

Sitting up, Rin rests his weight on his hands to look at Sousuke, finding those teal eyes already fixed on him. His heart is a rainbow of sparkles and fireworks when he sees how deeply in love Sousuke’s eyes reflect for him so honestly, so sincerely, so transparent, and so clearly that he hopes his own eyes give the same sensation to Sousuke because this man deserves all of his love and even more.

It’s like Sousuke’s body is calling him, but at the same time is something more than just something physical, it feels beyond that in a way that Rin can’t possibly find the correct words for it. It feels like poetry, like a song being played with the strings of his heart to give Sousuke’s soul a concert in hopes of translation all of his emotions. And, somehow, he knows Sousuke is feeling just the same.

A moan escapes from his lips when Sousuke grabs both of their shafts, starting to pump them, to which Rin helps moving his hips.

It’s all too hot and yet Rin still loves it.

They finish looking at each other’s eyes, wetting their bodies with the milky liquid coming from them, and when Rin’s body finishes trembling his breathing continues to be harsh and heavy, not only that, but his heart doesn’t stop beating and yelling in love. His heart is screaming so hard that his eyes hurt for a moment, just seconds before letting hot, crystalline tears roll down his reddened cheeks.

Sousuke immediately looks worried, opening his lips about to ask if something is wrong but Rin stops him, kissing him and taking his breath away one last time.

“I love you, Sousuke,” Rin whispers against his lover’s lips, “I love you so much.”

Even though Sousuke is probably confused by the tears, he still reciprocates the kiss, holding Rin close to his body and warmth.

“I love you too, Rin.”

Rin deems himself addicted to Sousuke.

 

Sousuke challenges him to a race to show he deserves a place in the relay. He, unsurprisingly, wins against Rin. The redhead feels his pride a little hurt, but his heart still jumps in ecstasy at the thought of racing a relay with his true, destined love.

It’s romantic, Rin would say, the two of them pushing each other towards the same goal that is the Olympics.

During all this time, Sousuke still disappears once a month to no-one-knows where, saying that he has some business to attend to in the city. It makes Rin a little nervous, and he feels like he should know what these “business” are. Aren’t true, destined lovers supposed to be like that? To know everything about the other, no secrets between them? But each time Rin questions Sousuke about his mysterious disappearances, his lover simple shrugs them off as if nothing.

This is only worsened when they often discuss about meaningless things, such like Sousuke’s weird habit of leaving food on his bed, or when Sousuke complains about Rin’s “obsessive cleaning”.  They are supposed to get along -- and they do, most of the time -- so these fights really throw Rin off.

“I just don’t get it, Makoto,” Rin complains to his friend via phone. He is lying down on his bed, his eyes fixed on the top bunk above him as if the owner of said bed was there. “It’s like he doesn’t wanna tell me.”

“Uhm…” Makoto hums at the other side of the line, “Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to tell you?”

“But that’s stupid!” Rin says, “We are true, destined lovers! We are supposed to know everything about each other by some magical link of destiny, aren’t we? Aren’t we supposed to trust each other without doubt?”

“I wouldn’t know, Rin…” Makoto sounds unsure, probably because of his lack of experience with relationships.

“It drives me insane!” Rin passes a hand through his red hair, sighing exasperated.

Right now he is alone in the room, Sousuke deciding to disappear to the city for the “business” he has to take care of every month without delay, so Rin took the opportunity to call Makoto to complain about his asshole of a boyfriend.

“Mmmmh… well, if you think about it…” Makoto starts. Rin recognizes that voice. It’s the voice Makoto uses whenever he wants to calm down Rin with rationalism. Rin fucking hates that voice. “This is also a sign of Yamazaki-kun trusting you?”

Rin frowns. “By not telling me shit about his stuff?”

Makoto laughs lightheartedly. “It sounds weird, I know, but!” The brunette makes a dramatic pause, and Rin feels himself rolling his eyes out of his skull, “Him not telling you to where he goes could mean he trusts you enough to not lie to you, doesn’t it?”

Rin knows that Makoto is probably bullshiting some kind of weird logic in hopes of making him feel better. To his pain, it slightly works.

“I mean, you haven’t tried to follow him to spy on him like that time you did when you thought Gou-chan had found a boyfriend.”

“Shut up, Makoto,” he orders, feeling his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“Maybe you should simply give Yamazaki-kun some time, and some space? You do spend a lot of time together…”

He sits abruptly, his head missing the top bunk by a miraculous centimeter, and stares into an empty space of the room.

“Are you saying we shouldn’t be together all the time?” Rin asks, feeling his blood slowly starting to burn through his veins, making his body burn with anger.

“Not at all! I’m just saying that you two need--”

“Forget it, Makoto. These things should be talked over, not simply ‘let it pass’ or ‘give it time’, it doesn’t work like that! Besides, I’m going to fucking Australia in a month or something! We should make the best of our time!”

Rin looks at the clock on the wall, reading that it’s almost 7PM. Sousuke should arrive any second now.

“Gotta go, Makoto. I’ll talk to you later.”

His friend doesn’t reply, sighing deeply after a moment of silence that Rin interprets as Makoto mustering all of his patience. “Alright, Rin. Talk to you later.”

As in on cue, the door opens to reveal Sousuke behind it. When he spots Rin sitting there, Sousuke smiles at him with that enamoured smile of his that Rin loves so much but that right now he doesn’t feel like returning.

“I’m back,” Sousuke greets as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Where did you go?” Rin questions straight to the point, the way he likes things. Sousuke frowns immediately.

“I told you, to the city to finish some things.”

“Yeah, but **what** things?” He insists, standing up to not let Sousuke’s huge form to shadow him.

Sousuke, instead of answering like any decent human being, decides to ignore Rin, going straight to his bed in the top. Rin can’t believe this bullshit.

“So, you’re just going to fucking ignore me and that’s it?” The redhead says, feeling his patience getting thinner and thinner with each passing second.

“That’s the plan,” Sousuke replies.

“I can’t fucking believe you! Here I am all worried about you, and you don’t even care about that!”

To that, Sousuke peeks down from his bed, his eyebrows still frowning severely, and his eyes hard and deep.

“Don’t you ever say that again,” Sousuke says.

“Oh, so you can order me around but I can’t ask you simple questions? Yeah, fuck you.”

With those words as his last ones, Rin drops to his own bed.

He feels cold.

 

He tries to fall asleep for hours, his eyes refusing to enter the land of dreams, as his thoughts are running an endless marathon inside his mind. It’s a marathon he doesn’t want to partake, but is forced when he can’t stop thinking about his fight with Sousuke.

Rin gives up, checking his phone to see the hour. It’s 3AM and he still hasn’t been able to sleep in the slightest. A sigh escapes from his mouth.

This is the first time Rin sleeps by himself since he found Sousuke. It feels weird and unnatural for him now, an odd sensation covering his body when it realizes Sousuke isn’t lying next to him as usual. At what moment did his body become like this? At what point his mind turned unable to rest unless Sousuke is there?

Tears threaten to spill out for a moment, when his heart starts to feel constricted and oppressed by a huge force. Even his skin begins to prickle weirdly, like thousands of needles poking at him restlessly his entire body. It doesn’t feel painful persé, but it’s still bothering and it makes him anxious.

Standing up, Rin stretches his arms and his body, making it crack. Perhaps drinking water and then going to the bathroom will help, so he tiptoes through the room to the door.

“Where are you going?”

A deep voice stops his hand from turning the doorknob to open the door. Rin looks behind him, discovering a black silhouette on top of the bed bunks that he supposes is Sousuke sitting.

Some hours earlier, Rin would have exploded all over again, yelling at Sousuke that it isn’t any of his damn business to where the fuck he is going. It would have been satisfying, mainly because it’s what Sousuke himself is doing with him.

But now, hours later after their fight, Rin doesn’t feel the heated fire or the adrenaline flooding his body.

“I can’t sleep,” he simply responds.

He waits for an answer, but Sousuke doesn’t give him one, Rin doesn’t even see the figure moving at all.

“Me neither,” Sousuke finally replies.

No one says anything after that, they just stare each other in the middle of the darkness of their room where only a line of moonlight enters through the curtains of their window.

Two pats are heard over a blanket. Rin doesn’t have to see to know that it was Sousuke patting his bed, a silent invitation to Rin to jump in. He takes it in a second. In no time he is going up on the ladder next to their bunks, jumping to Sousuke’s bed. They quickly lie down next to each other, red meeting teal eyes in the silence.

“I don’t like worrying you,” Sousuke is the first one to break the deafening silence that threatened to consume them whole. Rin’s eyebrows arch in surprise, nonetheless, because he wasn’t expecting Sousuke to talk so soon. “But I can’t tell you what I’m doing. Not yet.”

Rin’s frown deepens. It’s strange that Sousuke can’t tell him what he is doing, or at least not yet. Why the secrecy? Is it because Sousuke is embarrassed? Doesn’t he know that it doesn’t matter what he is doing, Rin will be there for him?

That’s what true, destined lovers are supposed to do, isn’t it?

“Why can’t you tell me?” Rin decides to question, the doubt eating him alive, “Is it really that bad? Are you actually a criminal?”

He is half-joking, obviously, working for Sousuke to laugh a little at the wild idea. “No, I’m sorry to tell you I’m not that exciting,” Sousuke replies, “I can’t tell you just yet, but I promise I will do it.”

“When?”

Sousuke gulps down, his lips tensing for a moment, and Rin can see the engines working inside his head. “After the Nationals.”

Rin doesn’t understand what difference would it make to wait that little time. It’s only a few weeks before it happens. Whatever this secret Sousuke has, it must be something that the man had planned to tell Rin one day or another since the beginning and that actually tranquilizes him a little.

Gentle fingers touch the back of his hand tentatively, these coming from Sousuke who doesn’t stop looking at him, it’s a silent request for acceptance that Rin will gladly give him. Their hands join, their finger interlacing naturally, giving Rin’s body a warm wave of affection.

He nods, agreeing to the conditions of Sousuke’s request.

“After the Nationals,” Rin repeats.

 

Rin is a horrible person.

He doesn’t deserve any forgiveness from anyone, because he is a horrible person.

How could he deserve to be forgiven? When he didn’t notice something so basic as this? When he didn’t see how much his lover was suffering in silence?

It hurts him deeply, but he knows it’s hurting Sousuke even more.

It was an accident for Rin to discover Sousuke’s secret before the man himself told him. It was thanks to Ai’s words that Rin finally realized something very wrong was happening with Sousuke.

For how long has Sousuke suffered by himself?

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Rin yells at Sousuke, exasperated for his own uselessness to help his lover.

“I knew you would cry,” Sousuke replies simply with a soft smile adorning his lips.

Why is he smiling? Why is Sousuke smiling at him when he should be crying? Why is Sousuke thinking of him even if he is the one hurt?

Hot tears start to fall from his eyes, wetting his cheeks, as a burning rock clogs his throat impending him to breath.

“I’m not crying…” Rin tries to say, even if he knows it’s a lost cause when his lips tremble.

“All my life I’ve been waiting to meet you, Rin.”

Sousuke’s words surprise him, making his eyes go wide.

“You know,” Sousuke shrugs, getting embarrassed out of nowhere, looking at anywhere but at Rin, “Meeting your true, destined love and all…”

What does that have anything to do with the subject at hand?

“So… I wanted to be the best for this person.” The teal eyes finally look at Rin’s again. “I over trained, that’s why my shoulder busted. It was all because I wanted to be the best person my future love could have.”

Rin swears his heart stops, and that his body isn’t dying for a miracle of life, or maybe because the heavens find his reactions funny and laughable.

He understands Sousuke’s feelings. Wanting to be the best for your destined person, to the point of hurting yourself without thinking or realizing it’s happening. His depression in Australia is clear evidence of that. But Sousuke, he tried too hard, he pushed too hard, all without control or pondering about the consequences.

“I was determined to retire completely from swimming…” Sousuke keeps talking, “But you looked so excited about all of this… I just couldn’t break your illusions like that so suddenly.”

His tears continue even when Sousuke hugs him, even when Sousuke kisses his hair and tells him that everything will be alright. The tears continue when Rin calls Sousuke an idiot, an asshole, and a jerk for not taking care of himself.

The Nationals pass and Sousuke swims the relay with Rin, Ai, and Momo. They don’t win the first place but they don’t care because they are an amazing team.

The whole swimming club celebrates the end of the school year with a pool party at Samezuka; Rin invites both Gou and Makoto, this being the first time either of them meet Sousuke. Gou immediately likes Sousuke, and Makoto easily gets along with him although Sousuke is a little hesitant and too serious.

Once they are alone, with the sunset painting everything of gold and the cherry blossoms shine with the warmth light in front of the pool’s building’s wide windows, Rin asks Sousuke about his plans for the future.

“I sincerely don’t know,” the man replies with a smile. Surprisingly, Sousuke’s words doesn’t sound lost or regretful. “I’m thinking of moving to Tokyo and go to College there.”

“Why don’t you come to Australia with me?” Rin dares to ask, hoping it doesn’t sound like he is pleading Sousuke to follow him, but his lover shakes his head.

“No, Rin. Going to Australia is your dream, not mine. That’s something I have to discover by myself again.”

That’s true.

In this whole year with Sousuke, Rin has learnt a lot. About life, about school, about friendship, and about a lot of other things, but mainly he has learnt about true, destined love.

It is truth that they are destined, and it is truth that they are perfect for each other, but none of them is perfect by coincidence. Rin had thought Sousuke was his perfect lover because he was also a swimmer and had the same interests as him, but life didn’t link them just for that. Sousuke is his true, destined lover because Rin needs someone like him to help balance his life, not because Rin was missing a piece of a puzzle, but because they can be complete next to each other.

True, destined love isn’t something that happens by magic. It isn’t mystical or a miracle. Just because they are destined, it doesn’t mean they will have the perfect relationship. They love each other, yes, they understand the other to a deep level to even guess how the other person will react, yes, but it’s all based on communication, trust, and confidence, not magic like society loves to believe about true love.

“It will be hard, though,” Sousuke adds, scratching the back of his neck, “Not having you here with me.”

Rin laughs, getting closer to his lover to amicably punch him on the chest. “Will you be able to sleep without me?”

“Me? You are the one who throws a fit every time we have to sleep separated.”

Sousuke’s hands easily find their place on Rin’s hips, like they belong there, and Rin’s hands settle on Sousuke’s shoulders, also belonging there.

“Will you come to Japan once in a while?” Sousuke’s voice sounds distant, and a little sad even if his lips never stop smiling.

“Are you kidding me? Both my mother and Gou would fucking kill me if I don’t.”

Sousuke laughs, making his chest tremble gently.

“... Will you go visit me?” Rin asks, hopeful.

“Of course, Rin.”

Sousuke kisses him softly and slowly, it’s a calm kiss that makes Rin shiver with pleasure and love. When they break the kiss, Sousuke rests his forehead on Rin’s, opening his eyes to fix them on Rin’s. He is whispering when he speaks.

“This almost feels like a goodbye.”

“Don’t be dumb, this isn’t a goodbye.”

Rin knows that, Sousuke knows that, they both know that. This isn’t a goodbye and yet it feels like one because they will be away from each other. It won’t be easy, as Sousuke said, but it must be done like this. Rin is sure there will be pain and tears the next few months without Sousuke, he is sure his skin will burn and prickle horribly with the lack of physical contact, as the yearning plants itself to stay there in his beating heart.

It will be hard, but it must be done this way because Rin, just like Sousuke, wants to be the best person for his beloved.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> You can also find me on my tumblr [AleishaDreams](http:www.aleishadreams.tumblr.com) and my twitter [ActualAleisha](http:www.twitter.com/actualaleisha)
> 
> If you want to post or comment about this fanfiction on tumblr, you can tag it as "AleishaDreams" or "MakoHaru Color Me In Love"! For twitter it can be tagged directly as ActualAleisha or #ColorMeinLove, not just "Color Me in Love", THIS is really important because otherwise it'll get lost on all the other tweets out there. I'm very active on twitter, so don't be afraid to contact me!
> 
> I would love to talk to all of you!


End file.
